I went to a friend’s birthday Saturday night in Main Beach (happy birthday Chris!). It’s been a while since I’ve seen this particular group of friends, so I had been looking forward to the catch up. As usual, I turned up late. As usual, I turned up single. I just didn’t know that everyone else would be on-time and not single.
1st awkward moment of the night: figuring out where I was going to sit. There was a little bit of shuffling around, as my dear friends tried to accommodate the odd number. Eventually, I sat next to Rach and quickly ordered a bottle of Logan Sauvignon Blanc (currently my favourite wine).
“Still single, Kyles?” asked Kate, just loudly enough for everyone to hear but not loud enough to be interpreted as a bitch. It’s hard not to hate Kate: she’s an easy nine who’s as shallow as she is gorgeous; she has a gorgeous husband who looks like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie catalogue; and she’s a ranga.
“Yeah, well, you know me – just hard to catch.”
“I’m sure your Captain Ahab is out there” she quipped with a friendly smile.
Yep. That bitch called me a whale.
Rach (being the perfectly socially mannered gal she is) smiled and poured me more wine “you’ll need more of this”.
One bottle of Sav Blanc later, and I was completely over my initial awkwardness. As I stepped out of the restaurant to have my first post-meal ciggie, I contemplated how there isn’t one right way to live a life. Sure, they all seemed happy with their settled-down lives – husbands, children, waterfront homes with a big yards and shiney black SUVs – but I was happy too. Besides, Moby Dick was never meant to be caught.
When I returned to the table, I noticed the boys and girls were separated: girls on one-end of the table gossiping, and the boys on the other mulling over the bill.My instinct was to sit with the girls until:-
“Kylie’s running stag, so we still have to sort her out. I’m not paying for another sheila who won’t be putting out.” Once of the boys said amongst some chuckles… “Is she a lesbo?” jokingly asked another…
I froze as thoughts went swimming around in my head: Was I meant to hear that? When did everyone start paying in pairs? The girls weren’t even trying to pretend to pay. Should I sit with the girls and ignore them or should I race over to the boys and pony up some money? Dammit... I forgot to go to the ATM... do I even have enough cash on me? Shit. Shit. Shit. Have they seen me yet?...
Before I had time to do anything, Robbo plonked an extra hundred down, “My shout for Kyles. Just stop being dickheads because she was never interested in your ugly arse”.
I was saved from being singled out and spared me any further ridicule. And in that moment, I realised how wonderful it would be to have a partner, someone who you can depend on to come to your rescue from time to time. Because sometimes, even the whale that gets away needs saving.
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